Are you always putting your foot in it and causing the people around you undue misery and heartache? Tell all and you could win £2.50!
My daughter Kelsey has got a right mouth on her. When my husband came home from working on the oil rigs last week, she took one look at him and said: 'I've got a new daddy now - he comes round every Tuesday and Thursday smelling of drink and sleeps with Mummy.' You should have seen the look on his face!
Kerry Fishwife, Aberdeen
I usually make the dinner for my husband, and I'm renowned for making tasty soup. I asked him what he wanted, but I must be getting deaf in my old age. When we sat down to eat, he took one mouthful and instantly dropped dead! Then I realised, he asked for PARSNIP, not ARSENIC! What a silly mix up.
Maureen Manslaughter, Her Majesty's Pleasure
GREAT IDEA!
Want to liven up boring old bread? Well why not try a few exciting toppings? If you go to a specialist supermarket, you'll find plenty of exotic ideas, such as 'jam' which is apparently made from boiled fruit and sugar (crazy!). There's also 'butter' (made from the juice of cows!!). And you could also try marmalade, which is quite a tongue twister, but delicious. Go on, have a go!
Mrs A Marmite, Bolton
CELEBRITY SPOTS!
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Margaret Atwood table dancing to Shakira at Spearmint Rhino
A bespectacled Kerry Katona reading Noam Chomsky's 'Manufacturing Consent' at the British Library
A bespectacled Kerry Katona reading Noam Chomsky's 'Manufacturing Consent' at the British Library
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